[ well she's here, buddy!! unlike a lot of other interactions she's had - where she feels like she is burdening others with her presence - this one is more purposeful. she takes a seat nearby. ]
Some hubristic tin hats called the "Initiative" wanted to see if they could control vampires though behaviour programming chips implanted into their brains.
Sends a powerful voltage of pain directly down the nervous system whenever I intend to hurt something.
[He lifts his bottle and offers it to him.]
Wouldn't recommend it, those guys had all the personality of a wet paper bag. Best leave their evil plans in the past. Why'd you ask?
I wanted to get an idea of the scope of it. I saw you beg the Watchers to put it back, and I was wondering if that is something they could do, and what the limits on their abilities are to do such things.
I do not need a chip to prevent me from violence, however.
I have to eat people to stay alive, or else I have to settle for the most foul tasting stale shit you can imagine. It's easier when I don't give myself the choice between walking vending machines I don't give two shits about or drinking stale bread.
Your demonstration at trial earlier was not very well planned, that is true. However, I think there are people here who are more willing to give second chances, despite your actions. After all, you were not the one voted for death this week. It is quite possible that this is another opportunity for you to learn that self control, or to give you a chance to give your chip back, don't you think?
[ whichever option he chooses, he has another week to see if it works for him. ]
[ With the power of backdating, they're here at the bar post-trial. Scheherazade is tense, which surely isn't a surprise to anyone, but she slinks into the ice bar none the less to get a drink. She sees Spike and, honestly? wants to ignore him. But she has a compelling force telling her to at least acknowledge him, even if she is not feeling too warmly about it. ]
I understand why you suspected me, but I still do not appreciate it.
[He gives a small wave as she arrives. Then, when she speaks up, he raises an eyebrow amused.]
Well, last time I suspected someone and didn't bring it up 'cuz I thought it might hurt her feelings, she took it real personally.
[He is a little tipsy, which means he's had a full pitcher of vodka, because he's a vampire and their constitution is annoying.] That trial was a mess, anyway.
I don't think anyone should prioritize dancing around other people's feelings, considering we're in a setting where we all get together to decide which of us we're publicly lynching once a week.
[Just saying.]
Can't say I expected rich boy to have done it. But I guess it makes sense. You want a drink?
Yes, like being polite. [Being polite does not equal kindness, in his opinion. He is simply neither.] But I do agree, honestly. If it helps? Wasn't personal. I think Alisaie likes you more than she liked the competition, so. [He shrugs.
He thinks Sche is more than a little pathetic, but. It was still mostly just a rough estimation. He does nod at the waitstaff, who appear to be a bit afraid of him and were trying not to listen in.] You heard her. Cosmopolitan for the lady.
Forgive me, but I do not see why you'd care about anything having to do with manners.
[ She takes her drink when it is brought to her. ]
Voting can be an emotional affair, but after sending an innocent person to their death, I can't blame how she may feel. Rochalizo voted for himself, so I hardly think it's the same as being 'lynched.'
So, what would you call a group of people completely unqualified getting together and deciding who deserves to be publicly executed? It's a whole process, you gather up in a circle and point the finger at whoever you don't like all that much. [He smiles, dry.] Susato thought we didn't vote for her 'cuz we thought she was a helpless little girl.
I think it's just 'cuz people liked her too much to even consider stringing her up. [And then, a beat of silence.] And also just 'cuz she's really good at murder apparently, but none the less.
Humanity has not changed all that much in one thousand years. There will be people like you say, who vote for who they dislike. There are those who only look at the facts and vote off of what is known. And then there are those in between. That is just how humans are. We all have our biases. Like with Susato, even if she had wanted to be caught, it is quite possible that she would not have been executed because of her connections with others.
Perhaps you could take a page of out her book, and then you would stop being suspected.
Well, you wouldn't know anything about it, would you. Some of us don't go seeking pity.
Yeah, noo, I'm not sympathetic to you being rendered a blubbering spineless mess at the mere thought of an inevitability. And I'm not particularly sympathetic to the type of girl who will get down on the ground and sob instead of fighting for their life.
No idea why you even want to escape it so much, way I see it, you're barely alive as it is.
Your first mistake is confusing pity for fear. That's all it is. You do not know about my situation, either. I hardly think you are well read, for if you were, this would not even be a topic of discussion. I'm not some mindless brute that requires violence to solve problems.
[He returns to their room, a bit later in the night and gives a small nod of greeting. Erastis trails behind him and lays down in a pile just beside the bed.]
Evenin', roomie. [He is hanging up his coat. Hello, Sche.]
[ She is clearly addressing him out of a form of obligation and not because she feels warmly about his return. She's just reading, sitting on the bed. Djinni is in mongoose form and peers down at Erastis. ]
I really don't know which of us the Watchers hate more for pairing us up.
[Erastis looks up at Djinni and almost seems like he wants to hide despite the fact that Djinni is so much smaller than him. Spike, on his end just goes ahead and turns on the TV. It's one of humanity's greatest inventions.]
Don't worry, I'm not lookin' to start making excuses. I don't need forgiveness or pity, just wanted to clear the air.
[He'll sit down a few seats away from her.]
Rin asked me to talk to you, and I think he's under the impression that we can be pals if we talk it over. Which, much as I like the kid, I must say is just a bit idealistic of him. Having said that, I'm quite literally incapable of feeling guilt or remorse in a way most humans understand, but... the whole accusation thing was cruel, even for me. Reminded me a bit of a man I don't want to emulate.
Where we go from here depends on what you want. Sheba electrocuted me and is now throwing rocks at me whenever she feels like it, but if you want to stab me, that'd be fair enough.
I do not want to say it is refreshing that you are not asking for an apology, but as I would not have accepted it, this is probably the best I could have expected.
You remind me of my husband. A cruel, pathetic excuse of a man. While I had ample opportunity to plot against him - poisoning his drink, slitting his throat in his sleep, pushing him from the balcony - I never did. That is not in my nature. I do not require violence to solve my problems, and enacting violence against you will not make me feel better about the situation.
I would prefer that we put the situation behind us. Let people make of it what they will. My feelings about you will not likely change, and I suspect yours about me will not either. We do not need to force it.
[He doesn't like the comparison, since by now he has... actually... figured out who she is, but it's not like he can blame her. Her words, as thoughtless as they were, reminded him of plenty of people who had inflicted any number of abuses onto him too, even if she is far kinder than they were generally. His mother, Cecily, Angel, all those uppity entitled academic pricks from his hometown...]
...You know, I used to think the same thing. Violence or ambition wasn't in my nature, and only common brutes or dishonest snakes would rely on such a thing. I was soft spoken, sensitive, educated and as gentle as I could be, even in the face of those who did nothing but kick me when I was down and spit on me to make themselves bigger. All I wanted was to write. [He smiles, thinly.] Not quite as good of a storyteller as you are, mind, but it's what I thought was my calling.
Then I lost that inhibition, alongside my soul. Wasn't really a choice I made, just all of a sudden none of those even compared to the hunger. Now, I can't understand it, even retrospectively.
[ There's a little bit of genuine sympathy, but her tone hasn't entirely warmed up just yet. ]
I made my choice. It was inevitable, but I was not going to watch him kill my sister.
[ That would have changed things; her little sister being married off and murdered. Would she be vengeful? She isn't really sure. ]
The murder of my husband would have been senseless. I would not have been able to rule, and there was no one else left. I would have been executed for a crime I most certainly committed, and I would have brought shame upon my family. The consequence of his death would have been greater than my calculated risk of entertaining him and him deciding to keep me alive.
It really is unfortunate that you have changed so much, but our situations are not comparable.
I don't know. I was certainly more miserable that way, but I get the feeling the human I was wouldn't have liked how he ended up. [Erastis loathed Spike just as much as Spike loathed Erastis.] Funny thing is, even though I'm a monster and cruelty comes naturally to me in a way it didn't before, I've saved the world twice now. Or played a key part in it, anyway. William Pratt never would have done either of those things.
[His heart wasn't in the right place, either time. Well, at least the first time. The second time was debatably selfish, it was about protecting... not his family, because they could never trust him enough for that, but he cared for them and would've died fighting for them. He would've chosen them over the world, and Giles not so kindly reminded him and Buffy that that was the choice they were making.]
I do get the idea of what you're talking about, though. Well, regarding saving your sister. There's people back home I'd do anything to protect too. It's why I still have the chip in my head, even if it apparently doesn't work anymore and the Watchers can't fix it. [He's still annoyed by that. He knows he would have wound up killing anyway, the angels aren't that easily circumvented. But still, maybe it would've helped them avoid this. Maybe he wouldn't have hurt Kaeya as bad as he has.]
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Do you have a moment to speak with me?
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[But he motions for her to speak.]
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I was interested in what you said about your... chip? Could you tell me more about that?
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Sends a powerful voltage of pain directly down the nervous system whenever I intend to hurt something.
[He lifts his bottle and offers it to him.]
Wouldn't recommend it, those guys had all the personality of a wet paper bag. Best leave their evil plans in the past. Why'd you ask?
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I wanted to get an idea of the scope of it. I saw you beg the Watchers to put it back, and I was wondering if that is something they could do, and what the limits on their abilities are to do such things.
I do not need a chip to prevent me from violence, however.
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I have to eat people to stay alive, or else I have to settle for the most foul tasting stale shit you can imagine. It's easier when I don't give myself the choice between walking vending machines I don't give two shits about or drinking stale bread.
[So why do you want it back. Why, indeed.]
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[ and she is! she may also be lowkey terrified that he'll lunge across the room and kill her. ]
So, are you going to follow through with getting your chip back, despite your words?
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[He frowns, clenching his teeth.]
Not sure, honestly. If I do, I've marked myself for death. Probably marked myself for death regardless.
Might be another way to retain the impulse control... But that'll make me just as defenceless.
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[ whichever option he chooses, he has another week to see if it works for him. ]
W5; SATURDAY
I understand why you suspected me, but I still do not appreciate it.
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Well, last time I suspected someone and didn't bring it up 'cuz I thought it might hurt her feelings, she took it real personally.
[He is a little tipsy, which means he's had a full pitcher of vodka, because he's a vampire and their constitution is annoying.] That trial was a mess, anyway.
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[ well, since they're taking, she'll take a seat nearby. ]
After this many trials, it should be expected that they will have a less than pleasant outcome.
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[Just saying.]
Can't say I expected rich boy to have done it. But I guess it makes sense. You want a drink?
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[ but. yeah alcohol is probably going to make this conversation run a little smoother. ]
I will take a Cosmopolitan.
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He thinks Sche is more than a little pathetic, but. It was still mostly just a rough estimation. He does nod at the waitstaff, who appear to be a bit afraid of him and were trying not to listen in.] You heard her. Cosmopolitan for the lady.
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[ She takes her drink when it is brought to her. ]
Voting can be an emotional affair, but after sending an innocent person to their death, I can't blame how she may feel. Rochalizo voted for himself, so I hardly think it's the same as being 'lynched.'
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So, what would you call a group of people completely unqualified getting together and deciding who deserves to be publicly executed? It's a whole process, you gather up in a circle and point the finger at whoever you don't like all that much. [He smiles, dry.] Susato thought we didn't vote for her 'cuz we thought she was a helpless little girl.
I think it's just 'cuz people liked her too much to even consider stringing her up. [And then, a beat of silence.] And also just 'cuz she's really good at murder apparently, but none the less.
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Perhaps you could take a page of out her book, and then you would stop being suspected.
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[That gets her a tight smile. Clearly, something she said ticked him off.]
But I don't make 'em 'cuz I hope to use them for my own ends. I make them because I care for them.
Not all of us are so petrified of death that we'll sink to any low to escape it, you know.
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Then let's hope that your friends feel the same way.
I do not expect you to be sympathetic towards my situation, but that is how it is.
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Well, you wouldn't know anything about it, would you. Some of us don't go seeking pity.
Yeah, noo, I'm not sympathetic to you being rendered a blubbering spineless mess at the mere thought of an inevitability. And I'm not particularly sympathetic to the type of girl who will get down on the ground and sob instead of fighting for their life.
No idea why you even want to escape it so much, way I see it, you're barely alive as it is.
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[ yeah she's! actually getting pissed too. amazing. ]
cw for the word bitch being thrown around
Yeah, you're just the useless bitch who waits around to get bled like a pig.
[He snarls, downing the rest of his drink.]
You don't know a fucking thing about me. We've had what? Four conversations? And for about half of them it was just us picking up your dead weight.
Piss off. We're done with this conversation.
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Week 6, Monday Night
Evenin', roomie. [He is hanging up his coat. Hello, Sche.]
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[ She is clearly addressing him out of a form of obligation and not because she feels warmly about his return. She's just reading, sitting on the bed. Djinni is in mongoose form and peers down at Erastis. ]
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[Erastis looks up at Djinni and almost seems like he wants to hide despite the fact that Djinni is so much smaller than him. Spike, on his end just goes ahead and turns on the TV. It's one of humanity's greatest inventions.]
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[ She's refusing to look at him. Djinni is a little less cold, tilting his head to the side while he looks at the other like, hewwo? ]
W7, Tuesday
...Mind if we have a talk? You know, about everything.
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I suppose there is no harm in hearing what you have to say.
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[He'll sit down a few seats away from her.]
Rin asked me to talk to you, and I think he's under the impression that we can be pals if we talk it over. Which, much as I like the kid, I must say is just a bit idealistic of him. Having said that, I'm quite literally incapable of feeling guilt or remorse in a way most humans understand, but... the whole accusation thing was cruel, even for me. Reminded me a bit of a man I don't want to emulate.
Where we go from here depends on what you want. Sheba electrocuted me and is now throwing rocks at me whenever she feels like it, but if you want to stab me, that'd be fair enough.
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You remind me of my husband. A cruel, pathetic excuse of a man. While I had ample opportunity to plot against him - poisoning his drink, slitting his throat in his sleep, pushing him from the balcony - I never did. That is not in my nature. I do not require violence to solve my problems, and enacting violence against you will not make me feel better about the situation.
I would prefer that we put the situation behind us. Let people make of it what they will. My feelings about you will not likely change, and I suspect yours about me will not either. We do not need to force it.
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Mm. Yeah, that sounds fair.
[He doesn't like the comparison, since by now he has... actually... figured out who she is, but it's not like he can blame her. Her words, as thoughtless as they were, reminded him of plenty of people who had inflicted any number of abuses onto him too, even if she is far kinder than they were generally. His mother, Cecily, Angel, all those uppity entitled academic pricks from his hometown...]
...You know, I used to think the same thing. Violence or ambition wasn't in my nature, and only common brutes or dishonest snakes would rely on such a thing. I was soft spoken, sensitive, educated and as gentle as I could be, even in the face of those who did nothing but kick me when I was down and spit on me to make themselves bigger. All I wanted was to write. [He smiles, thinly.] Not quite as good of a storyteller as you are, mind, but it's what I thought was my calling.
Then I lost that inhibition, alongside my soul. Wasn't really a choice I made, just all of a sudden none of those even compared to the hunger. Now, I can't understand it, even retrospectively.
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[ There's a little bit of genuine sympathy, but her tone hasn't entirely warmed up just yet. ]
I made my choice. It was inevitable, but I was not going to watch him kill my sister.
[ That would have changed things; her little sister being married off and murdered. Would she be vengeful? She isn't really sure. ]
The murder of my husband would have been senseless. I would not have been able to rule, and there was no one else left. I would have been executed for a crime I most certainly committed, and I would have brought shame upon my family. The consequence of his death would have been greater than my calculated risk of entertaining him and him deciding to keep me alive.
It really is unfortunate that you have changed so much, but our situations are not comparable.
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I don't know. I was certainly more miserable that way, but I get the feeling the human I was wouldn't have liked how he ended up. [Erastis loathed Spike just as much as Spike loathed Erastis.] Funny thing is, even though I'm a monster and cruelty comes naturally to me in a way it didn't before, I've saved the world twice now. Or played a key part in it, anyway. William Pratt never would have done either of those things.
[His heart wasn't in the right place, either time. Well, at least the first time. The second time was debatably selfish, it was about protecting... not his family, because they could never trust him enough for that, but he cared for them and would've died fighting for them. He would've chosen them over the world, and Giles not so kindly reminded him and Buffy that that was the choice they were making.]
I do get the idea of what you're talking about, though. Well, regarding saving your sister. There's people back home I'd do anything to protect too. It's why I still have the chip in my head, even if it apparently doesn't work anymore and the Watchers can't fix it. [He's still annoyed by that. He knows he would have wound up killing anyway, the angels aren't that easily circumvented. But still, maybe it would've helped them avoid this. Maybe he wouldn't have hurt Kaeya as bad as he has.]