I'm a bit surprised, though. I don't really know a lot about emotions like love, so I thought that I was just unable to feel that sort of thing. I mean, even now I'm not sure if I love love him like in the movies, but I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and I think it's too early for me to get heartburn, so it must be at least a like.
A lot of people say I'm unable to feel it too, based on an old outdated theory about how vampires work. I think everyone can feel it, at least to some extent. Even those that truly don't have any emotions in the way humans understand them, or those who can't feel it 'cuz they just don't go for that sort of thing, it's more... complicated and integral to how all living things work on an instinctual level.
I guess I've just always been a bit bad with emotions...among other things.
[ flat rubs the back of his neck, smiling wryly. ]
I mean, I'm not saying that I'm faking things! But for a while I did try really hard to act the way that people wanted me to. Even now, I know that I don't act in a way that's considered normal. It's a difference that used to be something that made me really uncomfortable...and it still kind of does, but thanks to lots of people, I think I've actually gotten better with it.
[Spike frowns, leaning forward and actually placing a hand on Flat's shoulder.]
Hey... if they treated you shit just 'cuz of you being yourself? They're not worth appeasing. People everywhere'll want you to act a certain way and conform to what they think of as normal and it'll just make you miserable to try and give that to them.
[Spike's morals are odd, for one. Murder and torture? Okay and dandy. Being shitty to people for not acting within their expectations of normality? Scum.] You wanna know what helped me? Killing everyone who ever laughed at me for that shit. You should give it a shot.
[ well if it’s odd morals, flat’s aren’t much better. he doesn’t shy back when spike says that, though he looks a little embarrassed. ]
Jeez, I don’t think that would work for me…but good that it worked for you. No one should ever think about making fun of you—you’re awesome the way you are.
[ he sounds honest about it, mulling over the words some more. ]
But I don’t see a reason for it for myself. I mean, I wouldn’t mind killing if it were just myself… but I’ve found people that actually care about me both here and at home that would be upset if I did something like that and I don’t want to upset them soooo… I’ve decided I wouldn’t do something like that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ as for the other question… ]
I was in the library, actually. With, um, one of the dead.
[ no he’s not turning red, that is a trick of the light. ]
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Oh yeah? Which one?
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[ beeguns kai ]
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He nods, he nods, humming in contemplation.]
Well? If you had to rate shagging a ghost out of ten...?
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[ he looks confused. how would the mechanics of that work? ]
I just confessed.
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Take it from your blushing that it went well?
Love is in the air, ain't it? [He raises his drink in toast.] I mean, unless you were confessing to murder or something. That's fine too.
no subject
[ yay! he'll raise a glass as well. ]
I'm a bit surprised, though. I don't really know a lot about emotions like love, so I thought that I was just unable to feel that sort of thing. I mean, even now I'm not sure if I love love him like in the movies, but I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach and I think it's too early for me to get heartburn, so it must be at least a like.
[ he takes a drink, smiling. ]
You probably know more about love, don't you?
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[He smiles. Look at you, Flat.]
Why'd you think you're unable to feel it?
A lot of people say I'm unable to feel it too, based on an old outdated theory about how vampires work. I think everyone can feel it, at least to some extent. Even those that truly don't have any emotions in the way humans understand them, or those who can't feel it 'cuz they just don't go for that sort of thing, it's more... complicated and integral to how all living things work on an instinctual level.
no subject
[ flat rubs the back of his neck, smiling wryly. ]
I mean, I'm not saying that I'm faking things! But for a while I did try really hard to act the way that people wanted me to. Even now, I know that I don't act in a way that's considered normal. It's a difference that used to be something that made me really uncomfortable...and it still kind of does, but thanks to lots of people, I think I've actually gotten better with it.
no subject
Hey... if they treated you shit just 'cuz of you being yourself? They're not worth appeasing. People everywhere'll want you to act a certain way and conform to what they think of as normal and it'll just make you miserable to try and give that to them.
[Spike's morals are odd, for one. Murder and torture? Okay and dandy. Being shitty to people for not acting within their expectations of normality? Scum.] You wanna know what helped me? Killing everyone who ever laughed at me for that shit. You should give it a shot.
no subject
Jeez, I don’t think that would work for me…but good that it worked for you. No one should ever think about making fun of you—you’re awesome the way you are.
[ he sounds honest about it, mulling over the words some more. ]
But I don’t see a reason for it for myself. I mean, I wouldn’t mind killing if it were just myself… but I’ve found people that actually care about me both here and at home that would be upset if I did something like that and I don’t want to upset them soooo… I’ve decided I wouldn’t do something like that.